The Nutcracker Reimagined: A Collection of Christmas Tales Read online

  “Since we were children, my lord.”

  Val continued. “And you know that… well, she has always been very fond of someone since she was a child. But that someone has married and she cannot quite seem to move beyond her infatuation with him. If you must know the truth, that is why I have put off your offer of marriage for so long. I have been hoping Juliana would come to her senses and I still believe she will in time. It will take some patience on your part, lad. She is stubborn, like her mother.”

  As Aland listened to that explanation, he scratched his head curiously. “Fond of someone since childhood?” he repeated. “May I ask who, my lord?”

  Val hesitated. “I am not attempting to create competition. I am simply telling you the reason behind Juliana’s reluctance. I told you that she was not yet ready for marriage, and it was the truth for the most part. She was not ready to think of a husband other than the man she wanted.”

  Aland was more concerned than upset by the news because this was the first he’d heard of another man in Juliana’s life. “It is not a competition, my lord, I assure you. But if there was someone standing in the way between you and the woman you wanted to marry, would you not want to know who it was?”

  He had a point. Val still wasn’t sure if he should tell him or not, but there was truth to what he’d said – he had a right to know who was standing between him and Juliana. It wasn’t as if he could do much about it.

  “This man is married,” he finally said. “He was married a few years ago, so I am sure the feelings my daughter has for him are not returned.”

  “Is it someone I know, my lord? Is that why you are so reluctant to tell me?”

  Val hesitated a brief moment before speaking. “Rhogan de Garr.”

  Aland’s eyes widened. “Rhogan?” he repeated. “But… but he left for France with the French princess four years ago.”

  Val nodded patiently. “Juliana has always had a soft place in her heart for him,” he said. “Aland, it is a lot to ask of any man, to be faced with the phantom of an unrequited love, but now that you know, mayhap you will be a bit understanding in this matter. I believe Juliana can be convinced to marry you, but it will take some time.”

  Aland didn’t know if he felt some relief at understanding what Juliana’s reluctance had been or if he was angry that it had taken Val four years to tell him.

  “Some time, indeed,” he said. “Rhogan left for France four years ago, my lord. Lady Juliana has not forgotten the man in four years? There has been ample time.”

  Val nodded, sensing annoyance from the man. “I realize that,” he said. “If you will only be patient a little longer, then I believe I can convince her otherwise.”

  Aland stared at the man. Rhogan was his old friend and he had been in contact with the man since his departure to France or, at least, he’d heard of the man’s life since he’d left. He almost opened his mouth to tell Val of what he’d heard of Rhogan but he didn’t. He held his tongue, at least as far as the information went, because what he had to say wouldn’t mean much to Val. But it would mean a great deal to Juliana and it was Juliana he had to convince. The more he thought about the woman being sweet on Rhogan after all of these years, the more irritated he became.

  “You have had four years to convince her otherwise, my lord,” he said. “To be perfectly honest, it has not worked. I have seen her sparingly during that time and never without you or your wife as a chaperone, so however you have handled the matter has not made any difference to Juliana in the least. Does she still long for Rhogan?”

  Val nodded reluctantly. “She does.”

  “Then you must let me speak to her,” he said imploringly. “Give me ten minutes alone with her and let us see if I can convince her of her futile actions. Will you permit it, my lord? You have had me waiting four years for you to handle the situation, but to no avail. Give me ten minutes with her and let us see if I cannot change her mind. If I do not, then I will withdraw my suit and you do not have to worry about me any longer. But least give me a fighting chance, my lord. Please.”

  Val couldn’t very well deny the man, for what he said was true. Val had failed for four years to convince Juliana that any love for Rhogan was futile. Perhaps it would be just the jolt that Juliana needed to hear an impassioned plea from a suitor. He supposed it couldn’t turn her away from Aland more than she already was. In fact, she might even see how serious Aland was and perhaps that would cause her to reconsider. In any case, he agreed with the man. Nodding his head, he stood away from the hearth.

  “Very well,” he said. “I will give you that chance. You remain here and I will bring her to you. But know that I will be on the other side of that door and if I hear anything untoward, I will not hesitate to enter the chamber and toss you out on your ear. Is that in any way unclear?”

  “It is perfectly clear, my lord. Thank you.”

  Val’s gaze lingered on the man a moment, a purely fatherly expression suggesting pain and agony should Aland try anything unseemly towards the daughter he was extremely protective over. Aland understood the expression well and he simply nodded as if to surrender to it before Val finally quit the chamber.

  And Aland was both relieved and excited about seeing Juliana. Finally, he would have the opportunity to say what needed to be said to Juliana. Given the fact that he knew of Rhogan’s life since departing for France those years ago, he thought it was something that Juliana should hear, too. It was foolish for her to idolize someone who wasn’t worth the effort it took to speak his name.

  At least, that was what Aland was going to impress upon her.

  He had one chance to do this right, to make her listen to him, and he was going to take it.

  With both parents standing behind her, Juliana had little choice but to enter her father’s solar.

  It was as if they were herding her into the chamber, as one would herd wayward sheep. She didn’t want to go; she was reluctant to go. She wandered a little and headed towards the entry door to the keep, but her mother was there to herd her back into the chamber. Foiled and frustrated, Juliana finally realized she had no choice at all.

  She had to face him.

  But in that frustration was the realization that, perhaps, it was for the best. If she was being forced to speak with Aland, then she could tell the man to stop asking for her hand. She didn’t want to marry him and she never would. Her father had been telling him that in, perhaps, a roundabout way. But if he heard it from her, then surely he would stop his foolishness. Squaring her shoulders, she entered the solar. She was barely through the door when it shut behind her, courtesy of her father.

  “Lady Juliana!” Aland said happily. He had been standing over by her father’s table but was now heading in her direction. “It is an honor and a pleasure to see you, my lady. It has been a long time.”

  Juliana remained by the door. She didn’t want to be outright rude to the man, for she held no animosity towards him, but she certainly wasn’t as glad to see him as he was to see her.

  “It has, Aland,” she said evenly. “Have you been well?”

  Aland came to within a foot of her. He didn’t advance any further, fearful that Val was really on the opposite side of the door and would follow through on his threat to throw him from Selborne should he upset Juliana. He wasn’t about to jeopardize this moment with overenthusiasm.

  “Well enough,” he said. “And you?”

  Juliana nodded, finally moving into the room and heading for the hearth simply to put some distance between them. “Well enough,” she said. “My headaches have not been so bad over the past year and that is a good thing. Oh, and Charlotte and Sophia have both gone to foster at Lioncross Abbey Castle. Do you know of it?”

  Aland was following her, but at a distance. He knew she was attempting to put space between them. “I do,” he said. “I have never been there but I hear it is a massive place. Of course, anything that the House of de Lohr has a hand in is bound to be on a grand scale. Have you ever been?”
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  Juliana shook her head. “Nay,” she replied. “Mayhap someday. I would like to visit Wales, too. Lioncross is on the Marches.”

  Aland nodded, glad that she was at least willing to have a conversation with him. But he was quickly growing impatient with the silly topic. He didn’t want to discuss Lioncross Abbey Castle, her sisters, or the Welsh Marches. He wanted to discuss his marriage offer and why she should not be reluctant to accept it. Carefully, he planned how to approach it.

  “I believe the last time I saw a hint of the House of de Lohr was in London,” he said thoughtfully. “Oh, yes. I recall now. It was at Hugh de Winter’s Christmas feast about four years ago. I believe David de Lohr came much later in the evening with his wife. Do you recall that feast, my lady? There were a great many people there that night.”

  Somehow, they had veered on to the very subject Juliana tried so hard to avoid. Any pleasantry she felt towards the conversation vanished as she struggled not to show it.

  “I remember,” she said. “We must have left before David de Lohr arrived. He is a friend of my father’s, you know. So is his brother, Christopher. My sisters are under the tutelage of Christopher’s wife, in fact. They wrote home to tell my mother how much they love Lady Dustin. She even has a cat that sleeps with my sisters, apparently. He has taken a liking to them.”

  So they were veering back to the sisters and Lioncross again. Aland decided to be more forthright with her. They could dance around the subject all day but he didn’t have the time. He’d told Val that it would only take ten minutes to convince Lady Juliana that waiting for Rhogan wasn’t worth it and the sand was passing swiftly through the hourglass as they tossed around inconsequential things.

  “That is lovely to hear,” he said. Then, he indicated one of the two big chairs that were positioned by the hearth beneath those enormous antlers. “My lady, will you sit? I have something I wish to discuss with you and I would be grateful for your kind attention.”

  Juliana stiffened, knowing exactly what he wanted to talk about, and she honestly wasn’t ready for it. But she had a feeling her parents wouldn’t let her out of the chamber until she did. She knew they were still at the door, probably leaning against it so she couldn’t escape even if she wanted to. With a heavy sigh, she moved to the chair Aland was gesturing towards and perched herself on the end of it.

  “Thank you, my lady,” Aland said sincerely. “I will only take a moment of your time. But I feel this is something of interest to both of us, so I will be as brief as I can be.”

  Juliana didn’t say a word. She watched him as he sat in the chair opposite her, smiling at her once he got comfortable. She simply stared back at him. Smile fading, Aland cleared his throat, somewhat embarrassed she wasn’t falling for his charm.

  “My lady, your father has told me that he has expressed to you my desire to marry you,” he said. “He has also told me that you are reluctant and I am hoping to clear up any hesitation you may have.”

  Juliana averted her gaze. “Aland, it is nothing personal, I assure you. I… I simply do not wish to marry.”

  “Because of Rhogan?”

  Her head shot up, her eyes narrowing as she looked at him. “Did my father tell you that?”

  “He did.”

  Juliana’s face flushed with anger. “He should not have told you.”

  Aland put up a hand to calm her. “I am glad he did,” he said. “There is something you should know about Rhogan. I have been in touch with him since he left for France. Rhogan and I are old and good friends, you know. We have kept in contact with one another. At least, we did for a while. But Rhogan stopped communicating with me about three years ago, which I thought was peculiar. Even when Rhogan was serving in France with the king, he and I communicated on occasion. It was, therefore, strange for him to suddenly stop. I sent him a message or two over the ensuing years, but heard nothing. Finally, I wrote to his wife, the princess earlier this year.”

  By this time, Juliana was literally hanging on the edge of her seat, her eyes wide as Aland spoke of Rhogan’s life since the last time she saw him.

  “What did she say?” she demanded. “Is he ill? Dear God… has something happened to him?”

  Aland cleared his throat. Now, he was the one appearing hesitant, although it was feigned. He wanted her to think that it pained him to tell her what he must when the truth was, had he been any less delicate, he would have shouted it at her.

  “My lady, I am not sure I should be telling you this,” he said, “but because of the… situation between us, I shall speak of it. You should probably keep this to yourself.”

  Juliana’s heart was in her throat. “Has something happened? Please tell me.”

  Aland could see he had her utter undivided attention when speaking on another man. She’d hardly shown him any interest at all but the very mention of Rhogan had her riveted. He found himself quite jealous that he wasn’t able to elicit that kind of reaction from her when it came to him. In fact, he found himself turning that jealousy against Rhogan, a man he’d known and loved most of his life.

  What was it Val had said? That the phantom of another man was standing between him and Juliana? He could see that as clear as day. He’d told Val that there was no competition between him and Rhogan, and that had been the truth at the time. But that was no longer the case.

  He wanted to purge Rhogan from her very bones.

  “My lady, we were all led to believe that Rhogan went to France to marry his princess,” he said. “Do you know when he met her?”

  Juliana didn’t. “Nay, I do not.”

  Aland took on a rather knowing expression. “The night of de Winter’s Christmas feast, those four years ago,” he said. “Do you recall that night? We were all there. She was there also, with her nurse and a few other attendants, because she was seeking military assistance from Hugh de Winter. Rhogan met her at that gathering.”

  Juliana was shocked. She hadn’t known that the very woman who had ruined her chance for happiness had been at that feast on that night so long ago.

  “How did she come to know the House of de Winter?” she asked.

  Aland shook his head. “I do not know,” he said. “More than likely, her family is an ally of Richard’s and mayhap Richard directed her to Hugh. In any case, Rhogan told me that the princess was seeking knights to help her regain some lands that she had lost. She promised Rhogan wealth and lands of his own should he help her; that is why he went. The betrothal came after he reached France, but he never elaborated on how it came about, at least to me. I do not know if he willingly consented or if he was somehow coerced.”

  This was all information Juliana hadn’t heard before. She always thought she would have collapsed in sorrow knowing why Rhogan had lied to her and then left her. But she felt strangely willing to listen to the news, and to accept it, because at least now she had a reason. It wasn’t because he had hated her or had somehow wanted to hurt her. Now, she knew he’d left because he’d been promised something. Oddly, it made his absence easier to bear and four years of agony was somehow eased.

  “I see,” she said with surprising calm. “But what happened? Why have you not heard from him?”

  Now, Aland was delving into the heart of the situation, hoping that the next few words would finally jolt Juliana back to the reality at hand. Four years was a long time to pine away for a phantom.

  “I never received an answer from her,” he said, “so I wrote to his father. You know that the man is living in Norfolk these days. He serves de Winter.”

  Juliana nodded impatiently. “I know. Go on.”

  Aland sat forward in his chair, looking her in the eye. “I never received an answer from him, either. But one night a de Winter messenger stopped at Hawkley Hall on his way to Winchester,” he said. “Knowing that Rhogan and I were friends as children, he told me what he had heard. It seemed that after the first year of Rhogan’s service to the princess, he was caught in a terrible fire at her castle in Kerkrade. There was a fi
re in the barn and when he went in to save men and animals, he was caught in the blaze and badly burned. He’d not yet married the princess but she evidently could not stomach his disfigurement, so she broke their betrothal and sent him away. No one has seen him since and it is not known if he is alive or dead.”

  Horrified, Juliana stared at him. She was having difficulty processing what he’d told her and it took a moment before she was able to respond.

  “He… he has been injured?” she finally said.

  Aland nodded. “I am sorry to be the bearer of such news, my lady, but you must understand what has become of Rhogan.” He tried to sound gentle. “No one knows, so for you to long for the man… it is futile. You long for a memory and nothing more. The Rhogan you knew is gone.”

  His words were meant to have impact and they did, but not in the way he’d hoped. He’d hoped to cleave whatever strings were still tying her to Rhogan, hoping to accomplish what her father had not been able to. But Juliana’s response suggested that wasn’t the case at all.

  “He… he never married her?” she asked.

  Aland shook his head. “Nay,” he said, pretending to be sad. “’Tis a shallow woman, indeed, who would shun her injured man, but that is evidently what happened.”

  As Aland waited for her to come to grips with what she’d been told, Juliana went in the other direction. No such words would cause her to suddenly realize she’d been longing for a dream, something that no longer existed. All she could see was that Rhogan had been terribly disfigured and then cruelly cast aside.

  Her beloved Rhogan.

  Juliana wanted to cry. Was it really true? Rhogan had left her for a woman who could only love him as far as his male beauty and nothing more? Now, she felt pity for him – deep and abiding pity. It was all so overwhelming and Juliana tried very hard not to openly weep. Any reaction she would have would be in private, when she could cry painful tears for Rhogan with no one to see her.